You might be able to suss out an underlying emotion to better understand what might be going on with the person you’re talking with. If the other person says they don’t want your feedback, you can respond by thanking them for their honesty and moving on. If you get a green light, you could share your observations about the situation and how you’ve handled something similar in the past. It’s best practice to ask permission to give guidance, such as, “I have a suggestion about how to go about this. Reflect back to them that you’re taking their words as seriously as they are.įor example, “I can see that what happened at your work meeting today was really important to you.” Give feedback To help someone feel heard, you can think of yourself as a mirror. Minimal encouragers also include employing a few verbal reactions, like: Minimal encouragers include actions like: It may sound something like, “It sounds like you’re frustrated because your boss dismissed your idea, am I hearing that correctly?” Minimal encouragersĪccording to a 2016 study, minimal encouragers can help signal your interest. When you repeat facts or important details back to someone, it sends a clear message that you’re picking up what they’re putting down.įor example, “So, then what happened after John called you back?” SummarizeĪfter your conversation partner is done telling a story, find a way to thread the details together, then ask to make sure what you heard is accurate. Here’s how to train yourself to be a better listener. This assure them that you’re really listening and engaging.From improved relationship satisfaction to enhanced empathy, research shows that active listening is a life skill worth mastering. For big news, show an appropriately excited expression to convey that you’re feeling what they are feeling. Reflect their feelings by responding with a smile when they smile and nod when they’re looking for clues that you’re getting what they’re saying to you. Show that you’re engaged by responding with matching expressions. Effective listening should be free of interruptions and pre-supposed solutions.Ī good listener knows how to mirror the same energy or emotions as the speaker. Concentrate on what they’re saying (even if it annoys you). The best way to learn exactly what they’re saying is by remaining quiet and listening closely. No Jumping In: Be patient and try not to figure out what you think the speaker is trying to say by finishing their sentences or blurting out your thoughts. If you don’t allow a person to finish what they’re trying to say, you’ll never really get to know how they feel or think about the situation.ģ. No Justifying: Avoid the need to justify your own thoughts or beliefs on a matter before listening to a person entirely. Judging the matter before you hear it all out can cause you to respond inappropriately.Ģ. No Judging: Listen without being critical of the other person. Soon you’ll learn how to effectively listen to both your inner thoughts and to others.Īlways remember the three Js to being open-minded:ġ. Sit, listen and record your response in a journal. Then ask yourself a question you want answered about your life or career. Get quiet every day for at least 20-30 minutes and tune out all noise and distractions. Journaling is the most effective way to train your mind to listen. However, when you’re not focused on the conversation, it is evident to the other person. You may find yourself thinking of what you should be getting done in that moment. Learn to Keep Your Mind from WanderingĪ untrained mind can easily be distracted by noises, random objects, background chatter or your even own thoughts. Your physical engagement also sends a message to your mind to focus on the speaker.Ĥ. (Inhale and exhale at least three times.) Turn toward the speaker and sit up straight to show that you’re present and attentive. Clear your mind of distracting thoughts by breathing in deeply. Relax your mind and body so that you can receive information objectively.
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